EXPOSURE

"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure." (Helen Keller)

Maybe I'm a bit old to think of being brave and bold. But as far as my writing is concerned, there are no limits--or there shouldn't be.I want the exposure it takes to grab the attention of an agent. I need the exposure of book faires to get my writing into the hands of readers. But those opportunities are not as forth coming as I suppose they should be.

Is it because I'm fooling myself with the thought that I am truly a writer? Are my expectations pie in the sky? Am I worthy of having a name readers will remember?

I need to trust myself. I should remember how successful I have been with this craft I love. I lost count at the 300 mark of short stories, personal essays, articles and poetry published. I know some people are well-known, are making a lot of money, and spend their every hour writing on a computer or in their head. I haven't done that as I have a personal life that is as important to me as my writing. I love words and making them sparkle and reach out to grab readers. But I love my hubby, too, and there is so much more I enjoy in life.

What I do, whom I love, and where I live is part of the development of my whole life. I have always had highs and lows--great moments of discovery, wonderful spells of happiness, or others of depression, and long spells of contentment--and now realize how happy I am with my life in general as it is today. I am attempting to have this same contentment out weigh the down times in my writing.

No matter how old I am, I want a well-rounded life as long as we are able to sustain it. I have new concerns about my husband who is fifteen years older than I; his age is working against him in a few areas. But he is so "up", ready to travel, willing to tag along with me to my writing functions (or go play pool while I mix with other writers and readers), and maintains his same teasing, funny self. I want us both to continue to pack "life" into our remaining years together.

I hope to pack this same life into the writing I yearn to do. Even though the economy has tanked, all but six big name publishers have drown in red ink and closed shop, and few agents want to represent anyone that doesn't have a famous name and a bizillion books sold under their belt, I am still working on a manuscript, a chapbook of poetry, several articles, and dreaming of discovering the next great idea.

Under the circumstances, does this make me brave and bold?

REPETITION

Although we are creatures of habit, many of us become bored very easily. I have heard people complain because their bus or train or automobile follows the same route to work each day. How could they be bored?

How can any new or known path, a routine way, be any less new and full of possibility than a route traveled on any day? I like to believe that I would see something unique each time I passed along the way. Haven't you looked at paintings a second time, or sat gazing at it for a long time, and seen more and more as time passes? The same happens each day as you move through your routine.

There is constant change everywhere in everything. There is a new experience to collect every day. For writers, each new experience, or a repeat of the pattern, offers new ideas, new descriptions, new characters to use in our work. Just walking in your own neighborhood will bring something different to the eye.

Repeat your route of travel. Repeat your daily walk. Look at the same paintings or photographs again and again, waiting for the multitude of stories or ideas to appear. I guarantee you won't be bored.

HEARTS OPEN, IDEAS WELCOME

The trick to writing is to keep your heart open; eyes are good too, but your emotions are what makes your writing sing. We who write often, know when we sit down each time, no matter how much we have written in the past, this day on something new is the first time all over again. And our heart has to be in the process.

If you're looking for ideas, all of the topics, scenes, characters, and stories are all around you. Look around the room you are sitting in, for example. I'm sure you will see something that will trigger an idea, or lead you to get on the Internet and research something you've seen until the essay or story begins to form.

Go out onto the street. Who lives in the area? What do they do for a living? How many children do they have, and can you recall something you've seen or heard them do that might give you an idea? Or go on a trip and keep notes. To a park--watch the children on the slide, or the homeless person digging through trash cans for cans to recycle.

Write about anything and everything you know. If you are curious about a subject, or hold a nostalgic memory in your heart, seek more information on the subject matter and share the story with the reading world.

In matters of the heart, or ideas your cherish, you are the expert, even if you've only been in this idea mode for a few minutes. Write!

NEVER THROW IT AWAY

I last wrote about making notes and keeping them--hopefully, where you can find them. Since them I read an article online about an author who lives in a 2-bedroom apartment in New York City, has just turned her office into the new baby's room, and now keeps her ideas on slips of paper, napkins, whatever, in decorative hat boxes. Mentioning keeping all these notes reminded me of a lesson I learned several years ago--one I hope you already know.

Don't throw anything away--not those notes, story starts, essays rejected many times---nothing.

We have moved quite often in our almost 32 years of marriage. On one move of quite some distance, I knew I needed to lighten the load, really cut down those 88 boxes (my husband does exagerate) coming out of my office. Therefore, I really cleaned out those files. I scanned through some of the old stories, essays, articles, clip files. I'd never completed them, or sold them, and the idea clippings hadn't been used, so I won't miss them, right? Do I need to tell you I still have thoughts of several stories, etc. I should have kept, picked them up again, and completed?

I have a new rule: never throw it away. As you might imagine, I don't have enough room in my office for all the files to hold all of these saved items. There are plastic tubs in our storage area of the workshop and four are in my walk-in closet in the office. One of these days I will set up a "program" of some sort to catalog it all, and not have to sit in the middle of the closet, searching through files looking for something I know I saved. Until then, I am not throwing it away.

And while I am sorting through those files, hopefully, I will find the beginning of a book a former student says he gave me to critique--just as I was giving up my teaching of that particular class and two months before I packed everything up for another of those moves.

I hope I haven't thrown it away.