DETAILS, DETAILS, DETAILS

I've probably moaned and preached about the necessity for details in your stories before. Well, I'm at it again, because I'm into those edits/rewrites of my novella and am attempting to add more description, scenes and dialogue--the details that will make the difference in whether or not I will see this published.

The right details breathe life into the story, making the plot believable and give characters that boost that prodces the idea that these people are real. Those details also create the mood of the piece.

In order to make the story appear real, writers should conjure up description and mood filled with graphic details. I hope I have done this with the following paragraph from "Trusting Strangers." Jane Crowley is in her car in the company parking lot when she hears gunshots. She sees a man heading her way. Before she can leave, he taps on the passenger window.

"Somewhere in his mid-thirties, handsome even with the paleness accenting his face, and big--over six feet tall, broad shoulders in a jacket fast becoming dark with his own blood. He'd lost the black hat that previously shielded his eyes. It was this absence that allowed her to meet his look, and hesitate. His eyes were pleading without words, fear filling the deep gray, then clouding with unchecked pain. And then Jana heard the moan."

I want my descriptions to give the reader a glimpse into the character, to possibly make them feel better (or the opposite) about a charcter. These two characters are thrown together by circumstances beyond their control and with details I attempt to show how these two can learn to depend on each other, to solve a crime and to fall in love. In this next example, Jana and Cameron are on the run, not knowing who the good or bad people are, and they make a quick trip to Cameron's apartment.

"Cameron's apartment wasn't at all what Jana expected. Her idea of a single cop's living space didn't include soft adobe colored walls, bright Navajo rugs on both walls and floor, and shelves of books mixed with collections of baskets and pottery. She found the look was carried from the kitchen/dining area into the living room where touches of the same decor were accented by rustic wood and comfortable stuffed leather. Paintings were everywhere in this room--the desert, mountains, images of life in an Indian village. Jana felt the warmth surround her."

Fear and action details may seem like little things in the large scheme of a novel but they add punch, honesty and a connection to these characters lives. The villian has been unmasked and Jana and Cameron face death.

"He again pressed the gun to Jana's temple. Larry's eyes were filled with the same bravado and belief Cam had seen there years ago when they were rooky cops together in Santa Fe. And Larry had killed a man that didn't need to die on one of those nights long ago.

"No!" Cam roared the one word and rushed forward.

Jana lashed out with her foot, connecting with the officer's leg. At the same time, as the grip on her lessened, she twisted away from her captor, reaching up to run long nails down his neck, leaving a trail of marks.

Then all hell broke loose."

Adding details, in mood, in character sketches, or in action, hopefully, offer a vivid look at the story world your characters inhabit. Hopefully, we writers do well enough with the details to create avid readers of our work.